I hooked up with Riff Raff Part 2

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So, a few weeks ago I ran a piece where I anonymously interviewed a girl who hooked up with Rapper/internet sensation Riff Raff. It wasn’t really me digging for dirt on the dude but it was more like a social workers curiosity. I’ve said it many times that the guy is an enigma. Is he for real? Is he a joke? He’s a referencing things we simply don’t understand?
I thought that talking to girls who had perhaps had his penis inside them might shed some light. Through a third party I was able to interview two girls.
Here’s the first one:
https://phatfriend.com/2013/06/12/i-hooked-up-with-riff-raff-part-1/.

In the second installment, we meet a girl who didn’t actually sleep with Riff Raff. She just hooked up and did “everything else” with him but dipped before that happened.
I gotta say, I came into this idea thinking I’d blow the mystique of the man away and we’d all learn that he’s either totally a fraud or 100% genuine. Well, two interviews later, I can’t say I know…which makes him even more of a mystery. So, here’s interviews number 2 with a girl who hooked up with Riff Raff, Rap game Rubiks Cube.

How did you meet Riff Raff?

At a hotel on a Sunday evening while friends were doing a photo shoot with him. We had actually met once or twice before but I’m sure he did mot remember.

Were you attracted to him when you met him?
Not at all. Well maybe in a throwback wiggery way. I mean I love wiggers now, but a more subtle one.

Who was the aggressor , in terms of flirting and things escalating to a sexual level?
Riff Raff. Was so not even remotely flirting. He tried to push up on me while I was coming out of the bathroom and I was all- Get outta here. We were in a hotel room with a few friends. everyone was drinking heavily for an early Sunday eve. It was time for everyone to leave. We all exit and I’m waiting for my car at valet and so was he. He came over and said that I should go with him. I was all- With you? No way.

Keep in mind we barely spoke to each other inside. He kept trying to reason, asking me why. I said I had to work in the am. So he says-I’ll get you tow work in time tomorrow and I promise you’ll have a good time.

At this point I’m thinking about all of my friends and essentially take one for the team and get in his car, also I want to figure out if he’s real or not. I’m semi freaking cause I’m in a car with this freak show who is driving and for sure has had a ton to drink and done a bunch of blow. I start texting a couple of friends that we were just with at the hotel, that I’m in the car with Riff Raff. They’re all WHATTT, as we hardly spoke during hotel room photo shoot party. I was definitely thinking about just getting out of the car somewhere and calling a cab. Total escape mode.

The rest of the story is fairly self incriminating so I will keep it brief.

-He owns an albino snake
-He has samurai swords all over the walls like some bootleg Wu-Tang shit.
-He has awful red leather couches
-He’s pretty smart and pretty funny
-We ended up going to the studio where he proceeded to lay down like 10 different songs some over Portishead tracks
-He made sure to rap about me
-I woke up with Riff Raff forever written in my hand in Sharpie
-He sleeps in a do-rag
-He told me to call him Jody
-His fronts were on the nightstand next to my head
-He offered to drive me home but I declined and Ubered

Is Riff Raff Charming?
Sure

Was any part of sleeping with Riff Raff doing it because there’s something funny about being able to say you had sex with Riff Raff?
I wouldn’t fuck him, but all the rest…. Sure. Was for the story and I was curious.

Have you slept with other “famous” people before?
Riff Raff is famous??? Internet famous. And yes. I have slept with famous people.


Did he break out of character at any point? If so, when and how? If not, he’s actually that guy?

No. He is him. A caricature of himself maybe. He believes it and I guess that’s what makes the myth the man.

I feel as if most men are most honest and vulnerable post orgasm. Would you say this was true of Riff Raff?
I do not agree with this statement in general.

Touche
Were drugs and alcohol involved in your personal time with Riff Raff? if so, what?

DUH. Guess

Did you enjoy sleeping with Riff Raff? Any regrets?
Again, I did not go full fuck mode with him but no, no regrets.

Would you do it again?
Nope. Once was more than enough

After it was all said and done, what is your take on Riff Raff, as a man? Good guy? Misunderstood genius? Retarded clown?
All of the above

And there you have it. So…yeah. I have no idea. I feel as though 2 testimonies simply aren’t enough to really explain anything but, hey, they make for a fun read. Also, thanks to this girl, whoever she is, for answering my questions and thanks to my third party for supplying me with girls willing to spill the beans about hooking up with a man who calls himself Riff Raff and was on “G’s to Gents”. The whole thing got me feeling like this:

“I hooked up with Riff Raff” Part 1


Well, I didn’t…but someone did.

So, it’s safe to say that Riff Raff is a polarizing and fascinating character. I’m sure many of my readers have a visceral disdain for him but I’ve always leaned more towards the side of him being a very entertaining person with a unique game plan. I think what it comes down to is trying to get a handle on him as a person. Is he genuine? Is he a character? Is he a slightly exaggerated version of himself? Or is he 100% an act? The thing is, no one really knows. We’ve all seen clips of the guy being different people. Even in interviews where he seems to be acting sincere, you still can’t tell.

So, I had an idea. I have a friend who knows a lot of people. We were talking one day and it casually came up that she had a few friends that had hooked up with Riff raff (sexually). Immediately, my ears perked up. Partially cause hearing those kinda stories in general are alway fun but more so cause I felt like it might be a chance to , perhaps, shed some light on an enigma. So, I had the idea of making a questionnaire for these girls who had hooked up with him. My friend would then give them the questions and return the answers to me. This way, keeping the girls anonymity in tact. Even with this , a few girls declined. But two brave souls whom I’ve never met and have no clue as to their identity, stepped up to the plate. So, to them, I say thank you and , if I ever somehow meet you, drinks are on me.
While the questions are a little personal, I also tried to not go too into depth out of respect for both the girls and Riff Raff. So, sorry fellas, I’m afraid you’ll never know how big Riff Raff’s dick is!
The way I see it, I don’t know the dude. I’d imagine I’d be a little bummed out if my sexual exploits started popping up on the internet. Or maybe he doesn’t care? Who fucking knows. Regardless, this is less about the sex than about the way in which it went down and perhaps seeing Riff raff as a regular, red blooded man who wants to have sex with girls. It should also be noted that I’m just posting what the girls told me. Riff Raff might have a totally different view point on what went down and there are just one persons words. So, also take that into consideration.
So, here is the first interview subject.

How did you meet Riff Raff?

At Santo’s in August at one of his shows. I was introduced by a mutual friend backstage.

Were you attracted to him when you met him?

He definitely has a certain something. Mainly, he’s just fascinating to look at. He has a really striking, crazy face.

Who was the aggressor , in terms of flirting and things escalating to a sexual level?

He was. He was the one who initiated us hanging out and who texted me repeatedly over the weekend after our hookup to “hang out at the hotel”. One of the first things he said to me was, “Wanna make out at the after party?” Didn’t take much.

Is Riff Raff Charming?

Much more charming in performance. In person, he kind of has a mask on and doesn’t really look people in the eyes, or smile that much.

Was any part of sleeping with Riff Raff doing it because there’s something funny about being able to say you had sex with Riff Raff?

Well it certainly wasn’t for the fake MMDA and the scintillating conversation we had about LA vs. NYC. Yes, to be honest with you, that was the main reason I hooked up with him- it felt hilarious.

Have you slept with other “famous” people before?

Not actual famous people, just NYC scenester type famous people. Unfortunately, Riff Raff is the most famous person I’ve ever been with.

Did he break out of character at any point? If so, when and how? If not, he’s actually that guy?

He never once went on like he normally does in his videos. He was pretty quiet. After the show, we went to his hotel suite where his friends were snorting Mollies. He turned to me and nodded to go into his bedroom. We made out on his bed and had very average sex for ten minutes, and I was surprised at how sober and rational he was about everything. It felt like a high school hook up. Neither of us took off our sneakers.

I feel as if most men are most honest and vulnerable post orgasm. Would you say this was true of Riff Raff?

No. He definitely just lay there for a minute with his eyes closed, then looked me up and down suggestively, then got up to wash up.

Were drugs and alcohol involved in your personal time with Riff Raff? if so, what?

beer.

Did you enjoy sleeping with Riff Raff? Any regrets?

We used protection and everything, so no regrets there, thank god. It wasn’t good sex by any means but I think it’s funny it happened.

There was a new batch of girls coming in to the room post- hookup, which was skeevy and gross and I felt suddenly really old. So, because it was 4 AM, I got a room in the hotel that night to catch a few hours of sleep before going to work the next day. That means I spent three hundred bucks to have sex with him- bummer. But on the other hand, I went to work the next day wearing the same thing as the night before (minus underwear which was left in Riff Raff’s room) and the amazing secret that I had had sex with a guy who has BET tattooed to his neck and a cultivated zig zag beard. It just felt like I had a really juicy secret, and I LOVE that feeling. Priceless.

I still get texts from him when he’s in town, which is always a treat. I wish I knew what my name was in his phone, because he definitely doesn’t know what my name is.

Would you do it again?

I don’t think so. It was exhausting following him and his retarded bro’s around just to have sex for ten minutes and feel as though I was a part of a revolving door of 22 year olds. You never know, though!

After it was all said and done, what is your take on Riff Raff, as a man? Good guy? Misunderstood genius? Retarded clown?

He’s obviously narccisstic and I’m not sure who he is underneath his visual persona. He seems bored and affected unless people of note are watching him and he’s making himself to be a retarded clown/ misunderstood genius. He’s probably calculating and smart, albeit quiet and lonely at heart. But he could’ve just been zonked out on Mollies.

P.S. on the off chance that anyone reading this has hooked up with riff raff (or another interesting celebrity) and you’re willing to talk about it, holler at me phatfriendblog@gmail.com. Don’t holler at me if you are liar and feel like wasting my time though. you’re better than that…come on.