The case of the Stolen Laptop


If you follow my Twitter or my Facebook fan page, you may be aware that I had my laptop stolen (and returned) over the course of 12 hours yesterday. A lot of people are asking me about it so I figure , instead of answering everyone separately, I’ll just run the story down here. Just know, that I’m one lucky motherfucker…

Before getting into the details, I know a lot of you are going to think I’m being dramatic here. After all, it’s only a laptop. While, technically, that is true, I’d venture to say my laptop, in respect to my career and life , is pretty much the focal point. EVERYTHING I do goes through there. You would think, because of this, I would back it up constantly. Shamefully, that only happens a few times a year as I just really don’t think about it that much. I accept this is my fault and I’m a lazy dickhead but, you know, whatever. Nobody’s perfect.
Anyway, for me to lose my laptop would mean not only thousands of dollars of costs for buying a new one, as well as re-buying the programs on there but I would also lose everything. Any new beat I’ve made over the last year. My entire I-tunes library…I have folder dedicated to this blog alone of ideas and questions people have sent me. Forget about the hundreds of bookmarked websites…all that shit, gone. So, consider that while reading this story. Anyone losing their laptop is bad, but for me, it would be like having to start over again in many ways…One of my sisters sent me a text consoling me about it and compared it to when her house burned down in the 80’s. She lost everything but slowly just kinda rebuilt her life. While that it obviously more dire than me losing a laptop, it definitely resonated with me. At least it did yesterday when I was a shell shocked zombie.

Anyway, on with the story…
So, It was thursday night and I was heading to a bar when Sir Jarlsberg was doing a little video release party. I told him I’d come dj for an hour ,so I bought my laptop with me. I actually almost walked out the house forgetting my laptop there until a friend reminded me to bring it (Omen#1).
The party was fun but I never even bothered taking my laptop out to dj, instead opting to use my friends computer that was already set up. So, really, i bought out my lap top for no reason.
That party died down so we figured we’d head somewhere else. Once again, prior to leaving, I almost forget my laptop bag (Omen#2). Anyway, a bunch of us headed over to Max Fish, a bar on the lower east side where I go pretty much anytime I drink. There’s a good chance, if you’ve been to NY and drank heavily , you’ve heard of it and either love it or hate it. Whatever your opinion on it, I don’t care. I love it over there no matter how bad it gets.
So, we’re all there, drinking and being merry. Last call is made and everyone starts gathering their belongings. I’m involved in like 4 drunken conversations and really not paying attention. One of the door guys begins to usher people out so I quickly grab my jacket and bounce. My girl , a friend and I decide to take a stroll to “south Brooklyn Pizza” (best slice in manhattan) which is a good 15 minute walk from Max Fish. As I’m sinking my teeth into the slice, my girl asks where my laptop bag is. I go white (whiter than I already am , at least). By now, it’s 4:30 and the bar is shut down. My homeboy Allan was working the bar that night so I called him. Luckily he was still there. I asked if there was still a black laptop bag there and he said, yeah. I breathed a sign of relief until he was like “Oh wait…it’s not here anymore”.
Apparently, what happened was, they had seen the bag there. One of the door guys asked what he should do with it and Allan said just leave it for now and we’ll deal with it later. About 5 minutes later, some guy knocked on the door and said to the door guy “Hey man, I left my bag”. The door guy gave him the bag and that was it. I can’t blame the door guy. I woulda done the same thing. It turns out, he had be casing the bag when he left and was just waiting to see if anyone was gonna claim it.

Allan tells me all this and I immediately start feeling sick. He says that he did look at the security tape and they got the guys face. He was an indian guy with glasses. That’s all the info they had and , really, at that point, there was nothing else to do but go home and deal with it tomorrow. I was still drunk to I don’t think the reality of the situation had sunken in. I mean, I was fucked in the head by this but still able to just fall asleep when I got home. By then, it was 5 am.

I wake up to my heart beating…I looked at the clock and it’s 7:15 am. I’m bugging. I realize that this shit is actually happening and I’m seriously starting to freak out. My girl is still sleeping so I go to another room and just pace a round for a while trying to figure out what I’ll do without my laptop. My new album has already been sent off for mastering so that was safe. But the 50 beats or so I had made this year were gone…Which meant all the projects I was working on were now screwed. I tried to sleep a little more but couldn’t so I ended up sending out email to all the rappers I’m working with about what happened. Basically, just letting them know that all the beats they wanted were no more. They were all very sympathetic and we were discussing ways around it (perhaps using pre-recorded mp3’s of those lost beats and just losing a little sound quality). Regardless, it fucked me up…but not as much as the realization that my live set and all it’s parts was gone. I had some shows in less than a month and the idea of completely remaking my live set from scratch made me want to throw up. It would basically be like making an hour long song, comprised of about a thousand little clips. Some of which I didn’t have backed up…that shit put me in panic mode. also, I have a whole section of my Itunes filled with sample sources both used and unused. It’s the foundation of any beat I’ve made over the last 3 years. If that was gone, I’d have nothing. Add on to that that I realized someone would be breaking into all my emails and social networks , as well as i wouldn’t be able to continue my blog anytime soon…I was just at a loss.
This is gonna sound dramatic but I can honestly say I’ve never felt more helpless in my life. It was my fault for forgetting the bag and there was no rationalizing it to myself.

Once it got to a decent hour, I called Allan and my friend Shannon (who also works at Max Fish). My hopes were that maybe I could look at the video and see who the guy who took the lap top was with. Perhaps someone would recognize him. Both Shannon and Allan were extremely helpful and understanding and told me they wanted to ask the door guy, Jamal, if he knew anything, as he was the guy who actually saw the dude who took it up close.
I sat in my crib , laying in bed in shock just waiting for a return phone call from anyone with any info whatsoever. I have one of those nervous stomachs, meaning, when I’m nervous, I shit a lot. You can imagine how this has played in other life situations…not pretty, but I digress. Then that call came…
Shannon had spoken to Jamal , who said he knew the dude that was with the thief and he was calling him right now. Holy shit. The fact that, not only did Jamal know the guy but that he happened to have his number was insane. It all seemed to good to be true so I tried to muffle my pre-emeptive joy and just assume the worst.
A little while later, Shannon called me to tell me Jamal told him “We got your friend on video (which they did) and the laptop has a tracking device (which is doesn’t) and , unless he brings it right back, we’re gonna press charges.” The kid wanted nothing to do with that mess so he caved instantly and was like “Okay, I’ll go get it from him and bring it back to you…”
For the first time in 2 hours my heart slowed down, I ate some food and i smiled.
The guy met up with Jamal, gave him the bag and Jamal dropped it off at Max Fish, where I later picked it up. As a token of my appreciation, I bought Jamal a bottle of Patron but he wasn’t even there when I went to pick it up..in fact, I’ve never formally me the dude in my life. So, whoever he is, THANK YOU.
And that’s what happened. Max Fish CSI motherfuckers in effect. I’m a fairly unemotional person. I’m very centered in that respect. Some (girls I’ve dated) would say I’m almost robotic. But yesterday was a range of emotions I’ve never felt. I compared it to a mother losing a child, but hey, does your child carry 6 months of beats on it? (just kidding about that one, calm down).
I’m not a believer in much. I don’t believe in Karma or god or any of that shit. But I do believe I’m a pretty lucky fucking dude. Chance is on my side. And I also believe that there are people out there willing to go the extra mile for you. Not many, but they exist…and they all work at Max Fish.
Anyway, that’s it. I can never thank those Max Fish dudes enough and I hape that indian in glasses eats shit and dies. But , also, I appreciate all of your concern via Twitter and Facebook. I’m glad there is still some sympathy left in the world…even if , on the large scale, this is the ultimate first world problem, I know people can relate.
So, until I lose that shit again, one lovvvvve!