Things that are wrong with the world Vol. 19

I tweeted about this a week or so ago but it’s one of those things that just won’t go away. No, Sun Drop soda, is not the issue. I not even fully convinced it exists. But this fucking commercial , for some reason, makes my head explode every time I see it.
It all comes down to how things are made. The process that it took this commercial from being an idea to an actual visual you see on TV is a long and painful one. I think that’s what gets me. How something this completely fucking dumb that misses the target by so many miles, can still make it out the matrix.

Let me put it like this. I’ve had music put in commercials before. More than that, I’ve had music ALMOST put in commercials. 99 times out of 100 these kind of things fall through because in order for a song to be decided on, it has to go through so many layers of opinions and ideas, it’s nearly impossible for it to make it onto the final product. It usually works two ways

1)They pick a song, edit with it and then show it to the ad people (or whoever) and those people want to change it. This goes back a forth a million times and can all depend on one dumb motherfucker who doesn’t like how the hi hat sounds so they scrap the music entirely. Eventually, they all agree of whatever the most popular commercial song is at the moment (think “Holiday , oh, holiday” or “How ya like me knowwwww!” type songs).


2) The second thing that can happen begins in the editing room, where whoever may be editing puts whatever random song he likes into the commercial just as a template. Then, when it’s played for the ad execs, they fall in love with that song and would kill their newborn child to keep it in the commercial. It fits so well to them cause that’s how it was presented to them. The irony to this is that , in most cases, you could put almost any song to any commercial and it will work decently on some level. That’s the beauty of music. It can manipulate how we see things. Anyone who’s listened to music , while watching the animal channel on mute can attest to that (and being high as fuck).

I had a song in a Microsoft Bing ad a few months back. It went back and forth over whether or not they were gonna use it due to time constraints and sample issues. Eventually we worked it out cause they had their mind set on the song the way they had originally edited it. I had sent them slight re-workings of it, re-tweakings, everything. Even how the song for the commercial was sequenced was a huge deal. These dudes were anal on a level you don’t often see. When I finally saw the commercial, I was amazed. Not only was the music super quiet in the background, but it was a complete after thought. It could have been anything. It could have been the sounds of a bee hive or a pan flute solo. Listen, I’m not complaining as that commercial is definitely helping me eat for the foreseeable future but the point is, the process is kinda bullshit and wildly unnecessary.

I say all that to point this out: Somehow, that terribly unfunny, weird looking girl slipped through all these cracks to the point where this commercial got put on TV as it is. I get the idea of it. Her awkwardness was key to the roll. Fine. I can accept that. But she’s simply just so unlikable I can’t imagine anyone would want her to help sell anything. The thing is, the casting process to a commercial is much like the process of picking the music , but a million times more scrutinized. That means, this girl got through audition after audition, doing that stupid fucking dance and making that stupid fucking face. She may have even cultivated that weird hipster meets camp counselor outfit. Each time, ad execs were telling her how great she was, then actually discussing how great they really did think she was amongst each other when she left. There were other girls who did similar dances that almost made it…but no, this girl was THE ONE! See, that shit blows my mind. If I were to try and imagine what the girls who DIDN’T get this role were like, I might have a stroke.
Of course, this is just me. If you read the youtube comments for the above video, they speak a different story. That, in itself, is another thing wrong with the world. The fact that people can watch this and like it SO much they feel a need to comment on it. Who does that? The must have no got the memo that the internet isn’t here for that. Go hard (at shitting on something) or go home.
Also, i bet that soda tastes like piss…judging from the ad, of course.