(Oh, whattup Tiger Woods niece, wanna make out? Cool.)
This is it. This is the last one of these we’re doing. I can say, from the bottom of my heart, thank fucking god. Both Alaska and I have been brain farting our opinions on the googling whims of middle america for almost two years now and it can finally be put to rest.
Just to recap the last two years:
Kim kardashian is a piece of shit
Miley Cyrus does things
famous people die
famous people get divorced
Scientists discover things
America is as dumb as ever
That about covers it…So, without further ado, here is the final installment of “trending topics”
Also, fear not , those few of you who might actually miss this weekly article, Alaska and I will be back soon with a whole new program. Stay tuned…the judging and complaining has just begun.
This week, Alaska and i discuss Sports, politics and no hot girls. This puts me in a shitty position cause I am forced to make up a hot girl for my header pic. So, I googled “hot girl” and this was the first thing that popped up. It’s fine by me.
Also, this is the second to last one of these trending topics we will be doing. I for one can’t wait for it to be over so I can stop paying attention to the “news” completely.
Three more to go and we close the book on trending topics! You excited? I AM.
This week , Alaska and I discuss Hunger games (hence the pic of the hot girl from it above), Mississippi being fat and guy who sued the Cowboys for sitting on a hot bench.
This week, alaska and I discuss the VP candidate , the olympics and that basketball wife that Chad Ocho cinco headbutt. A nice variety of shitty things, if you ask me.
This week, Alaska and I discuss olympic shit, how natalie portman became less attractive and shit happening on mars. See that above? I used to love H.E.R. (just kidding, I still love her, just less than before).
This week, Alaska and i discuss Chick-fil-e hating gays, the olympics (thus the video of the hot olympic girl above) and Tim Tebow, bro.
This, Alaska and I discuss topics like Mariah Carey and some broad from the bachelorette and well as Dr. Doom (the economist). Ironically, Dr. Doom is the least depressing of the three.
This week , Alaska and I discuss Selma hayek, Famous people who got divorced and how everyone in America has diabetes cause we’re fat fucks with terrible diets.
This week, Alaska and I discuss Beibz, Snow on mars and some brazilian model that some actor may have knocked up. I mention that cause it will explain who you’re looking at in the above picture. Whatever the case, good job bro…whoever you are.
This week, Alaska and I discuss sports only a Klansman could love, Demi Lovato’s stupid hair and Mike Tyson on Broadway. Still waiting on that 4th horseman so we can call this world a wrap.
Also, not gonna lie, I dunno how old Lovato is. I hope she’s over 18 cause she’s the only girl in the trending topics so she get’s the header pic. My apologies if she’s 12 years old.