Undateable

UF
I was recently watching this show on VH1 called “Undateable”. From what I gathered , it’s based on a book of the same title and is all about the many many MANY different thing men do, wear or say that renders them “undateable”.
From the brief part I watched this ranged from bad tattoo’s to being too close to your mom. Fair enough. There are no doubt we, as men, find all sorts of ways to make ourselves wildly less attractive to women. But I did find it funny that that the show was so one sided. What about women? I think , in a way, there is a assumption that men are the less picky of the two sexes. This is only half true. When it comes to actually just fucking, yes, by far, we are much less picky than women. Men routinely fuck women they hate just because they can. But on a deeper level, where relationships come into play , I’d say men are actually pickier than women are. For example, how often does a girl you know get excited about some new guy and dive head first into an attempted relationship without even stopping and asking a few questions? I see it all the time. Some might call it “throwing caution to the wind” but I’d prefer to call it being “lonely and insecure”. To fair, I’d say it’s a mixture of both. The amount of girls I know who have just “Settled” with some complete dickbag cause they think it’s time or they’re getting on in age is depressing.
Men , on the other hand, are often dragged into a relationship kicking and screaming. Our instinct is to not even go there but , in many cases, we eventually get beaten down enough to just submit. Now, I’m not saying this is indicative of all men. I’ve been on both ends. I dated a girl for 3 years who I wouldn’t even call my girlfriend for the first half of it cause I was so set on that not happening, even though by all standards, she was definitely my girlfriend. Admittedly, I was a total asshole but whatever, it’s how I felt. I’ve also been on the good side of things where you both go into it with an even head and at your own will. Obviously, It’s not black and white.
But back to this “undateable” crap. I think, in all fairness, men should have a go at this and maybe let the ladies know what we find undateable. Now, I can’t speak for every man but allow me to rattle off a few examples of what makes a girl “undateable”. Guys, feel free to add on your personal ones in the comments…I think the girls need to hear this shit.

What makes a girl undateable:

Not having your shit together
Unlike women, men have no interest in fixing up their partner. While many great girls throw their lives away trying to turn what ever lame scum bag they’re fucking into prince charming, men want all that shit taken care of. We want to move into an already nicely furnished apartment. This means if you are a drug addict or a depressed mess who sits around the house all day, you’re a wrap. Sure, you might have hit it off at the bar and the drunken sex was fun but trust that once that passes (and it will, quickly) your bum -assedness will shine through and the guy will never return your texts again while sober.
Nothing sucks more than dating a girl who is always miserable and upset about things that EVERYONE deals with. While girls may nurture (and enable) this kind of behavior when men do it, men simply do not have the patience for this kind of bullshit. So, cheer up and get you mind right. There’ s a reason being “Captain save-a-hoe” is frowned upon.

Shitty breath/hygiene

I know this one seems obvious but you’d be surprised how many dumpster mouthed bitches there are out there. It’s particularly crazy to me cause you would think girls would be on point with that kinda stuff seeing as they are usually so aware of themselves. I realize some people have deeper issues that a piece of gum won’t solve but the majority of it is just girls really not giving a shit. I always know when I have shitty breath. I might not have a mint to fix it at that moment but best believe I’m seeking one out and fully aware of my situation. A girl having shitty breath (consistently) says a lot about her lifestyle. It says she’s just kind of a mess. If she can’t even tackle that small issue, lord knows what kind of whirling dervish her life is (not to mention, how neglected her vagina must be).
I’ve known many dudes who were seeing girls they kinda liked but the breath was the deal breaker. Bottom line, if you don’t wanna kiss that girl, you definitely do not wanna date her.

Being needy or dramatic for no reason.

Listen, i understand, daddy wasn’t around. Mommy didn’t hug you enough. Life is hard. I get it. But there is nothing less attractive to me than a needy girl. I could be balls deep in Mila Kunis and if she started whining about some bullshit and acting like the world is ending , it would be a wrap. My dick would repel into my body with the force of a black hole. It’s hard for me to really say whats worse: drama queens or needy girls. The drama queens are terrible cause you’re constantly dealing with them and their fucking issues. Issues that , to any sane person, would not be an issue. Issues that lead to petty beefs amongst their friends that you have to then hear about non-stop. The needy girls, though, are draining. They ask for so much of you but rarely give anything back in return. You’re pretty much a walking tub of rocky road ice cream and a shitty rom-com on DVD, there to fill their void. It’s one thing if actual drama or bad things are popping off. But , in the case of most girls like these types, nothing that bad is ever popping off. Just typical life shit that we all have to deal with.

If you don’t get along with my friends.

Girls should follow this one as well. You know when a girl is dating a guy and all her friends don’t like him? I’d say 9/10 times most girls will roll their eyes at their friends cries and just date the dude anyway which then leads to that girl going into a hole for a while until she realizes “oh shit, my friends were right, he’s a total asshole”. Well, This almost never happens with guys (the friends telling you they don’t like your girl part, not the going into a hole part). We may not always like each others girlfriends but we don’t attack our friends about it unless it’s a serious issue. The thing is, we really want our gf’s to get along with our friends. Not only cause that’s how it should be but because it enables us to see our friends more. She likes them. She trusts them. They can hang out and everything is great. I’ve never really dated a girl who didn’t get along with my core group of friends. So I really don’t know what would happen if that was the case. I’ve seen it from the outside where a friends GF simply does not get along with her man’s friends and it sucks. It cause rift that the boyfriend doesn’t even want to create but he has to stay somewhat loyal to his girl. Whatever happens, it’s unwanted drama and usually bullshit.

Certain physical traits
This one is kinda rough. Every guy has his likes and dislikes about how girls look. Some guys love a girl with mad tattoo’s and another might be revolted by that. But how a girl basically looks is a huge part. I feel like girl are able to overlook many of men’s physical faults. Girls can be won over by a charming or intelligent men even if he is fat and bald. And god bless them for that. But men, not so much. The sad truth is that most men know how far they’re willing to take a “relationship” with a girl within a few minutes of meeting her strictly based on looks. We know if you’re a “have sex with you a few times and that’s it” kinda girl all the way to if (a ton of other things fall into place) “you’re a prospect for something much deeper” type of girl and all things in between. I’d list actual physical traits that are deal breakers but the truth is all men are different and have certain things that may or may not be an issue. Like some dudes can’t fuck with a girl with wack feet or a huge nose. Other guys could car less about those things but can’t deal with a girl with thick calves. You never know…But , rest assured, we’re being judgmental pricks.

That’s all for now…I mean, I could probably go on for days but I’m guessing you get the picture. Feel free to add on…